He asked you if you want to marry him. And you said Yes! That’s awesome!
Full of enthusiasm, you are starting the planning of your dream wedding in the beautiful Alps region or anywhere else in Switzerland, and as a matter of course, you assume that your fiancée will accompany you all the time. Not for sure! He leans back relaxed on the couch, You said “yes” the rest will work “then somehow”….
How do you communicate in the months of planning of your wedding?
Dear Brides and Grooms, this blog post speaks to the majority of all Brides not only in Switzerland but worldwide, from the heart that we meet. Of course, we do not throw everybody into the same pot. Our wedding tips are aimed to women who are bothered by the fact that their Darling simply does nothing for the planing. In case your Groom is standing right next to you, in matter of planning the wedding, that’s great, look forward to, it and enjoy it!
Okay, let’s go… let’s dive into the pre-wedding world of thoughts…
He thinks: “Proposal gloriously mastered. She loves the ring. A bit to much emotional feelings for my taste, but now get relaxed, wedding is next year sometime…”
She thinks: “I’m just so happy, my dream-man wants to marry me, I can’t wait to call Brigitte, Christi, Tanja and tell them all about it, I have to buy the latest Bridal magazines tomorrow! Is the best way to get married at the lake under the open sky? Would yellow roses fit my bridal bouquet? The Bridesmaids have to wear that dark blue dress at the ceremony and what does Katie think about the proposal?”
Mr. Right did not expect that his Bride-to-be will discover everyday new wedding blogs, question him over and over about wedding locations and good wedding photographers in Switzerland. Visit exhibitions and taste wedding cakes. He is really surprised about the fact that good locations are book out sometimes a year before and the Caterer wants to know if you wish to have the dinner from the buffet or prefer a la Carte on that day.
Idea bombardment: can be easily suboptimal during the time of wedding planing
He doesn’t like it so much. Just like he doesn’t like it that much that we bombard him with Ideas
And that can be problematic, because usually SHE:
- loves to plan the wedding! And she can focus beside her job and hobbies on that without any problem.
- expects from her boyfriend, her fiancée that he is filled with the same enthusiasm.
After all its also his weddingday, and you want to celebrate it together!
Your expatiations and his passivity, however, can bring up some classic conflict potential. It seems that he is more likely, or simply can not fulfil these expectations, because his lazy or his job makes him to busy to think everyday about the wedding.
And now honestly girls: How would you like if your MAN, your bear, your Bull sits hour in front of the internet and googles for flower colour trends, decoration concepts, checking a catering company, pin boards on Pinterest and hunting for Etsy-treasures? Exactly!
No conflict potential: You can do several things to avoid stress in the phase of wedding planing
Our short and honest tip: take a deep breath and get a compromise sometimes. Accept that the hole planery, probably doesn’t interest him the same way it does you, the Bride-to-be. We do not say that you should allow him some kind of total ignorance. On the contrary: Communicate – see point 4. And try to think with his head, he simply does not understand why your are stressed over something which is more then a year from now. Do want you feel you have to do and keep calm – even if you know your stress is quite right. We do know that too! But he doesn’t know that.
He does not help? Do not hesitate! Cunning solutions are needed, if you communicate with each other in a timely and clear manner. The best solutions for for smooth talking:
- Remember that men simply tick differently then we women do. We quote the statemaent of a Bride of us:“My sweetheart told me, that the most emotional moment of the marriage was for him when he made the proposal, and I said, Yes!” That was the most important moment for him. Could it be that your men feel the same way? If you see it from this point of view then the “ignorance” for the wedding and all the planing is that meant evil, right?
- Make clear announcements that do not build up preasure. Men like that in this case, for example:
“Honey, I made an appointment on Saturday with the wedding photographer and videographer, because they work together as a team, are you joining us?”
This is a win-win situation! He doesn’t have to deal with it, and you also get what you want!
- Tell him honestly about your Ideas and suggestions regarding verey part of the wedding and the weddingday in a calm and relaxed atmosphere, and talk slowly. Of course he is interested about you and your problems and fears! Plus, he can help you by letting you know about what he like and what he doesn’t like yet. The best way: You are looking for the inspirations and ideas – and he helps you to make the right decision.
- Communicate clearly about the points you do not agree on. If something bothers you – talk to him. If you realize that he feels down about something – ask. Put disagreements out of the way during the wonderful time of planing your dream wedding in Switzerland or anywhere in the world.
And lastly, a point which may still appeal to one or the other Bride, although this one is slightly different from the others:
- Could it be that your Partner just simply feels that you actually love to take action? Perhaps it has nothing to do with passivity.
Teamplay is announced – just like in the marriage.